RAMANUJAN :ENCIRCLING GENIUS

ARVIND K PANDEY

The West's fascination for Ramanujan ,especially in the form of biopics, would certainly allow Indian to become aware of the lesser known facts of his life . Ironically, Ramanujan during his life time wasn't credited with honours which he really deserved . Like all geniuses he ,too, was compelled to live on periphery in his short earthly existence . One hopes such intimate disclosure would not only help us to explore his life in a better way but also place his achievements in right perspective

MEDIA:HAUNTED BY URBAN WOMEN

ARVIND K PANDEY

The media of our time seems to be obsessed with gliterring achievements of urban women , to an extent that stark realities envirioning women hailing from lower strata of society do not appear to be news worthy . Let us not be fooled enough to believe that life has turned into bed of roses for middle class women , only because higher-ups are living flashy , independent lives . Apart from throwing light on success of top brass , there is urgent need to bring the real picture of Indian woman . That means really empowerd segments of women's belonging to rural areas ,battling out life's ironies with exemplary courage , should be given top priority in such reports, which at present seem to suggest that women defying traditional roles are the only one's worthy of emulation . No body is bothered at what cost they materialise their dreams.

VIOLENT GRIEF

ARVIND K PANDEY

The people of Karnataka are culpable of atrocious deeds they perpetrated in the name of mourning the death of Rajkumar -the beloved . One cannot enter into reckless behaviour in the garb of showing respect towards their heroes. In fact, their behaviour indicates that Indians are still , especially those hailing from South , are bordering on superficial level of human plane wherein it's essential to turn hysterical , something in which women have always had edge over men , to expres the pain within. To be owner of emotions is quite different from turning wild under influence of vague sentimentality . Needless to say , the Indians must learn to exhibit their emotions in reasonabe and calm manner

HONOURING DIVINE PEOPLE

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Pub. In THE TELEGRAPH ,April 28,06 )

Ramachandra Guha, has missed the crucial point — that the wisdom of an experienced man is always more valuable than the amateurish considerations of immature minds. The nation’s history records that the valuable observations by policy-makers like Vidura, Vashistha and Chanakya showed the way to later generations at the helm of affairs. Of late, the storehouses of wisdom are no longer valued. It is true that they are not always good at keeping up with new trends, but that is hardly any reason to ignore their worth. Considering that Verghese Kurien made significant contributions during to the milk cooperative movement, it would not be wise to ignore the enormous possibilities still latent in him. In fact, a person with a sound mind and leadership qualities should not be forced to quit unless he is seriously considered unfit to be in service.

PRIYANKA'S MEOW

ARVIND K PANDEY

Raju, a boastful guide, was showing off.

Raju: This marvellous building was built in a year.

Tourist: Hah! In our city we have a bigger and a far more marvellous building that was built in six months!

(In front of a museum)

Tourist: Raju, what is this building?

Raju: I will have to find out. It wasn’t here in the morning!

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Vivek (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won’t be able to go to school today.

Principal: Who is this?

Vivek: This is my father speaking!

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Ashok: I am quite sure that our school is haunted.

Priyanka: Why do you say so?

Ashok: Our principal is always talking about the school spirit.

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Judge: I thought I had told you I don’t want to see you in my court again.

Thief: I know! I tried to explain this to the policeman but he refused to believe me!

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Question: What has wheels and flies but is not an aircraft?

Priyanka: A garbage truck!
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In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The Lift is being fixed for the next day .During that time we regret you will be unberable .
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In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orhodoxy monastery :You are welcome to visit the cemetry where famous Russian composers ,artists ,and writers are buried daily except Thursday .

*****8

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's shop: Drop your trousers here for best results.

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Outside a Hong Kong dres shop: Ladies have fits upstairs .

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In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency :Take one of our horse -driven city tours -we gurantee no miscarriages .

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In an advertisement by a Honk Kong dentist :Teeth extracted by latest Methodist .

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In a Rome laundry :Ladies , leave your clothes here and spend the aftrnoon having a good time .

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Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand :Would you like to ride on your own ass? .

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In a Rhodes tailor shop:Order your summers suit .Because a big rush we will execute custmors in a strict rotation .

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Notice outside a wayside dhaba(mortel) in Punjab : "Tehal Singh
Fully air-coditioned."

One Poet to another : I think I should put more 'sparkle of fire' in my poems .
The other poet said ", No ,no do the other way .Put your poems in fire."

(FROM TELEGRAPH'S KIDS CORNER& K.S. JOKE BOOKS)
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PRIYANKA'S FASHION STATEMENT :

1. It's difficult to deal with ABCDs --Angrezzi Born Confused Desis .

.The best way to prevent wardrobe malfunctions is honour the culture of jungle times--wear nothing on ramps.

3. Laywers are often Liars.

SONG OF THE WEEK:Come To Me ..from Hindi Movie Bluffmaster.Why ? Because it has been picturised on this cat's namesake.

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THE GREAT ART OF OVER INTELLECTUALIZATION
ARVIND K PANDEY

The Chidambaram's rheotric hell bent on ' intellectualising everything ' is not the solution for problems ailing the farmers .Their grievances can't be tackled without bonding with them at the grassroot level . Sadly , little thought has gone into providing them better facilities to wipe out problem haunting them since independence . The wealthy farmers may be in a position to pitch in better better facilities for themselves but the farmers belonging to lower strata have been left at the mercy of fate . Their lives trapped beween usurious moneylenders and unscruplous buyers turn into saga of miseries and frusrations . It's time to bail them out from harsh ground realities .

TRIPS IN INDIA

ARVIND K PANDEY

Needless to say , the dawn of Interenet age poses a great threat to creative outbursts of writers , painters, singers , musicians and etc . Also , in wake of the hectic trade related manoeuvres such laws which prevented the nations to trample each other's interests with impunity by breach of trade secrets have become need of the hour . No doubt , the various provisions of TRIPS(TRADE RELATED INTELLECTUAL PROPERT RIGHTS) allow its signatories to lessen the complexities in age mared by unholy technological invasions in our lives . Let's hope it dosen't turn out to be another weapon of exploitation in the hands of Western counteries , who have become adept to misuse laws meant to create order and harmony in world .

UNPRINCIPLED ALLIANCES

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In THE STATESMAN , April 25,06)

Since the early 1990s, unprincipled alliances have become the hallmark of Indian politics. Though the Congress and the Left have nothing in common except a so-called inclination towards a secular agenda, they have decided to walk together. This has become nightmarish for the government. Be it the US President’s visit or India’s stand on the Iran issue, the Left played foul to create an embarrassing situation for the government. The Congress is forced to remain on the backfoot since the electorate’s verdict has dried up all better possibilities.

WOMANLY HEIGHTS

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In THE WEEK ,April 30,06)

Ela Bhatt is a notable example doing woders through pragmatic and sincere approach resting on Gandhism , preventing its relevance from fading into oblivion in an age which treat them as outdated .It's another thing that she had to fight a long battle with negative frorces hell bent to crush her enthusiasm.In fact , the belief of Ela Bhatt that ' one should work for ther cause of downtrodden without expecting anything in return ' reminds me of Bhagavad Geeta's Nishkama Karmayoga(Selfless Spirit) , which lays stress on doing one's duty with least expectation of gains. True , the charismatic figures like Ela Bhatt thrive on power of Indian cultrure .

TOWARDS HARVARD OR CAMBRIDGE:NO MORE

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In THE TELEGRAPH , APRIL 24,06)

Though I appreciate the contributions of Amartya Sen ,I do not agree with fact that his scholarly background makes him eligible for Presidentship .Considering the fact that uspuration of power by hook or crook , the complex political formations and opportunistic tendencies displayed by nearly all the political parties seem to have marred the political chess board of Indian politics , the time has come to bring in person embedded in the ground realities . Someone who has worked at grassroot level , perceived the various shades of crude politics and tackled the problems envirioning the masses, besides being scholar of great reputation , would certainly be the right choice . Lalu has displayed the fact that one need not be by-product of Harvard and Cambridge to feel the pulse of nation or ,for that matter, an academician to frame worthwhile policies . .It's quite clear that to wipe out unholy political developments we need a person capable of checkmating dubious mindsets with ease. At present , Jaswant Singh reflects the right attitude to grace the highest post . Interestinlgy, he could have Amartya Sen and other like-minded scholars in his panel aimed at framing and monitering growth -oriented programmes for the nation.

COPYCATS TURNING INTO WILD CATS

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In INDIA TODAY ,MAY 01,06)

The well-orchestrated ' wardrobe malfunctions ' are symptomatic of fact that breach of decency is fast becoming a surest mean to hit the bull's eye in fashion world . It only indicates that for GenNext the route to stardom passes through unscruplous means ,being a pragmatic display , in their eyes , of brainwaves to be the crowning glory in instant age . Who has the time to discuss about the utility of dresses worn by the models when such fashion shows turn provide 'Garam Masala '(Spicy Material) to everyone right from media groups to business houses plus the lusty eyes in a sizeable way at par with their respective interests . One wonders why supporters of feminist causes are so silent over the exploitation of fair sex in the fashion world .

BOGUS MEDIA'S SILLY WARRIORS

ARVIND K PANDEY

The institutes offering journalism courses have failed to grasp the bare truth that jounalistic temperament cant be manufactured nor it can be imbibed by souls who view journalistic consciousness under the lens of professionalism . Even the Media Gropups , interested solely in yellow journalism or prpoganda based orientations , have no place for people who are laced with requisite qualifications but are not willing to compromise with their ideals . This was bound to increase the gulf betwen talented people and the Media Houses , leading to dearth of worthy journalists in various publications . One way to end this crisis should be to recruit people having first hand experience of ground realities , give them required training and then appoint them with full assurance that neither abrupt termination of their tenure ,under baseless contract system , nor propagandist concerns would make mockery of their talent. And yes , let they be not underpaid , which has become order of the day even in well -known brands

THE MONSTER CALLED COMPETITION

ARVIND K PANDEY

In the light of parents unreasonable expectations , a dehumanising script is always in store for the childeren . Morever , they make them prone to psychological disorders. More often than not , the pressure exerted by the parents to excel at all cost takes its toll on the nerves of the childeren .Considering the traumatic experience of the childeren , it's time for the parents to allow childeren to remain in tune with their usual self .Let them move ahead in life with a vision at par with their intertest .What's the point in subjecting them to illlusionary dreams born out of desire to uphold their so-called stature.

INDO-US DEALS:THE OTHER SIDE

ARVIND K PANDEY

Let me state that as expected the US President was successful in creating new business domains for American products in India.Though India can boast of pathbreaking nuclear deal with US ,let's not forget that it's subjected to ' suitable amendments' in the law by the Senate . The Indian government has failed to come up with reasonable explaination as how it would maintain the tempo of nuclear programmes in presence of clauses aiming at NPT regime. Surprisingly , Indian government failed to draw America's attention towards 'Jehadi factory' operating in Pakistan . This was the right moment to persuade Dubya to bring Pakistan within ambit of ' war on terror ' . Again one wonders why deafening silence was kept over India's legitimate right in Security Council when all the time India has been harping it for past few years . One suspects there was tacit understanding between them to keep ' real issues ' under the wraps .Anyway , the visit has given us the opportunity to baloon our chest for some time.No matter,India is like man walking on treadmill, walking but reaching nowhere.

WESTERN WOMEN ARE NOT "AVAILABLE"

ARVIND K PANDEY

In some sections of the Indians the misconception that Western women are ' available ' rules the roost ,thanks to the dominance of blue films . A mindset which has led to troubled times for them during their visits in this land . It's time for the Indians to get rid of such ridiculous perceptions. Indeed, it's very difficult to borrow ideals from civilzations different than ours but then there is no other way to get above the flaws of one's civilzations. In fact , right from Sri Aurobindo to Tagore , all have laid great emphasis to borrow better aspects of Western world , infuse it with our living patterns to have an evolved society .Still , let reforms syncronize with the inherent tendencies of one's cultural patterns , being result of self -awakening , instead of result of imposition of alien agents .Anyway , instead of gathering trash from foreign lands, it's better if we come to borrow healthy Western patterns .

KIDS' DAY OUT : PARENT'S DHOOM(MERRY) OR DOOM ?

ARVIND K PANDEY

Childeren do to some extent termper the inherent tendencies of both the sexes ,making them more realistic and pragmatic with passage of time . However, they also provide them alibi to engage in loot and scoot schemes .From ordinary mortal to higher echelon ,everyone is engaged in one or another form of corruption ,only bercause the family at home needs better standards of living . In fact , childeren make both male / female prone to baser side of human nature.As per recent findings , new form of gadgets ,Televisions and so on reflect the choice of childeren . In consumerist society of ours , childeren provide them the opportunity to provide a certain degree of respectability to their wrongdoings .

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PRIYANKA'S CONTENT -ORIENTED MEOW :

One man to another :Before marriage I had 9 theories to raise childeren , now I have 9 childeren and no theory !!!!

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A kid was going through book related with child's healthy upbringing .

"What are you up to my Child ?, "the mother enquired .

"I am just trying to find out whether you have raised me up in proper manner or not ," the child said .

HURRAY FOR MURRAY :CRUSHING AMERICAN IMPERIALISM

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In THE WEEK , April 23,06)

In our times it's really a herculean task for a writer to protect himelf from the charm of labels .Les Murray ,however , not only got above this trap but also prevented himself from turning into vehicle of dangerous propogandas in the name of serving social issues . Needless to say , it's never too easy to brain storm societal issues in a totally independent manner . However , this Australian writer guided by his traumatic past is all set to counteract the ' emotional aggression ' of American Feminists with iron hands . One hopes he emerges winner in war against American imperialism

PLAYING WITH FIRE

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Published In THE TELEGRAPH,April 17,06)

The glaring lapses and loopholes in security arrangements at Victoria Park in Meerut proved suicidal for the innocent visitors . Ironically , the event named "Brand India Fair " had everything to staitate a consumer's desires except the facilities which really measure up the growth of nation in a substantial way ! The fully air-conditioned tent lacked enough exits apart from built of inflammable materials . One wonders what makes the event-managers prone to such disastrous omissions .Going by the government agencies habit to ignore the lessons learnt from such tragic episodes , one is not sure whether these type of incidents would become part of history forever . Cosider the way one mall after another are being raised in mindless manner , sharply violating enviromental concerns and saftey factors .

GOD PLAYING CRICKET

ARVIND K PANDEY

Though cricket may have originated in England , Indians have dominated its course of development in recent times. To an extent that few believe it originated in India as Srimad Bhagavatam mentions that Lord Krishna played it with his friends on the bank of Yamuna .No wonder , today it has become part and parcel of the national mind . The Nimbus deal and the Mittal's bid for European Steel Plant prove beyond doubt that Indians have learned the art of raking in huge mollah by grabbing lucrtative offers. Sadly , it does not mean end of politics in various cricket academies marred by regional prejuidices. In fact , the work culture in sports bodies is still stricken with administratrive bottlenecks besides partisan policies .Also , the glory of cricket takes its toll on development of other games . Let's hope better days for cricket means development of other games as well.

UNHOLY DEALS

ARVIND K PANDEY

There are enough circumstantial and material evidence to establish Abhishek Verma's hand in this murky Scorpene deal . Let's hope political bigwigs in Congress don't play all the dirty tricks to enable Verma come out clean . Going by the past experiences in such scams , one dosen't expect earnest attempt on the part of government to trace the ' dubious links ' , bringing the culprit behind the bars . It's really baffling that nation's important security deals involving top army brass ,high -profile defence officials and foreign firms hing around petty middlemen. .Despite ' Bofors Shock ' it seems that Congressmen are not willing to disown shady deals

LET'S TURN INTO STAR PRISONERS

ARVIND K PANDEY

The exemplary courage of ordinary lives fails to excite the senses of people running the Media Groups . Recently , Amarendra Pandey , a worker's union leader fighting for the cause of people employed at Triveni Glass factory in Naini , was alllegedly put to death by owner of the factory . Like always his family has been left at the mercy of fate to battle out ironies of life all alone . Anyone who dares to challenge the exploitative tendencies of 'big people ' meets the tragic fate .Considering the forgetfulness of ordinary citizens , such tragic happenings soon become part of history . Even provide few people to further extend their political influence . Consider other figure.Javed , the courageous helper employed at "Brand India Fair " at Victoria Park in Meerut, saved many lives from becoming victim of flames which engulfed the fair . Though he is no more now , the lives saved by him will always remind us of him . Lo and behold, he did not figure in mainstream reports of conscious media . Our top brands found it more worthwhile to shed light on the plight of star prisoner Salman Khan ,now behind the bars . Or may be out by the time I write it . How did he feel behind the bars amidst mosquitoes ? What was he offered in meals ? How did his girlfried reacted . An offender is being treated as if he has landed there for some good cause. Silly Media ! The people working in it boast of their consciousness but know little to distinguish between prisoner and a real hero !!!!

Priyanka: Why are you late for class?

Student: Because the sign near the school said, “Go slow. School ahead."

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Vinit: My mother has the worst memory in the world.

Vipul: Does she forget everything?

Vinit: No. She remembers everything!

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Question: Which driver can never be arrested for rash driving?

Answer: A screw-driver.

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Question: What do fools do after taking photocopies?

Priyanka: They compare them with the originals for spelling mistakes!

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A man was charged in court for parking his car on the wrong side of the road.

Judge: Why did you park your car in a no parking area?

Man: Your honour, the sign read, ‘Fine for Parking’. So I thought it was fine to park my car there!

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Teacher: Rahul, make a sentence with the word ‘hence’.

Rahul: Hens lay eggs.

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Teacher: Children, write a letter and then draw an envelope below.

(A little later)

Teacher: Why have you only drawn the envelope? Where’s your letter?

Jyoti: Ma’am, the letter is inside the envelope!

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Q.What are the two things which are on the rise in India ?

DOGGIE:Pre-marital Sex and Sensex.

(FROM TELEGRAPH'S KIDS CORNER & K.S COLUMN )
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FASHION STATEMENT OF THE WEEK :

Physical Prowess of doggies does not always impress cats .

1.In India traditional cats go on pilgrimage after feasting 100 rats , the modern one's go to bar . Time have changed .

Song of the Week :Merein Bhains Ko Danda Ko kyoen Mara ?

(Why Did you hit my buffalo with stick )

PRIYANKA'S FAVOURITE PLAYER :CLIVE LLOYD AS HE HAS BEEN NICKNAMED "SUPER CAT" .

INTERSTING INFORMATION:CATS ARE ENIGMATIC PREDATORS ,SAYS TELEGRAPH .

INSIDE STORY OF PRIYANKA'S LIFE :SHE LIKES TO FEAST ON BRITISH RATS BESIDES LOVING DELICIOUS INDIAN ONE'S ....SHE HATES RACIAL DISCRIMINATION ...

WINNING AGAIN

The emphatic victory of Team India over Britons in one -dayers is result of collective effort of the youth brigade . Despite the collapse of middle order , the performances of Raina , Yuvaraj ,Harbhajan saved them from disgrace . For big names in the middle order it's time to introspect and rectify their mistakes in order to prove their worth in rest of the matches . Anyway , it's time to compliment the team for shattering the world record of West Indies of highest number of consecutive victories while batting second .

EXAMS:ROAD TO DEATH

ARVIND K PANDEY

Examinations now open the door of suicide for childeren soaked in creative facilities or , for that mattter , are not at par with ' theories of progress ' furthered by archaic school managements . In fact , they have become means to extend the vision of Lord Macaulay ,who wanted to give rise to generations having faith in British orientations .Had he been alive today , an aura of contentment would have certainly found place on his face , on seeeing Indians devastated by ' English Bug ' .To an extent that some big names in Education business are going in for ' foreign principals ' in the name of offering qualitative education . Rest of the job to breed frustration among the students has been done by the reservation supporters , who have left no scope fro meritorious students to think of bright future . I don't know whether today it's relevent to talk about utility of Gurukul pattern of education (fear of being labelled fundamentalist ) , which laid emphasis on value oriented education system ,taking care of man's emotional , intellectual and physical well-beings. Worse , even an attempt to rectify or improvise anything associated with old order of living gives rise to maddening response from chatteriing secularist class . Under this circumstances, one is not sure how to create a better way of living , preventing students from becoming victim of psychological disorders .

M.F:A NUDITY LOVER

ARVIND K PANDEY

(Pub.In THE TELEGRAPH ,April 12,06)

What compels M.F. Husain to envision Hindu gods and goddesses as his fetishes? Hasn’t he realized by now that playing with religious sentiments in the name of artistic expression is nothing short of playing with fire. Sadly, in our country we have different yardsticks by which to judge any one crisis. For how long are we going to dismiss or trivialize the protests against Husain as fundamentalist outbursts? Remember, Muslims in nearly all parts of the globe, protested against the caricatured images of the Prophet. Let us hope agitations against Husain are not portrayed in a bad light just because they are being staged by the majority community

SACRIFICE MANIA

(ARVIND K PANDEY )

( Published In FRONTLINE ,APRIL 21 ,06)

Barring the timing of the expulsion , the Election Commission move is a major step in overhauling the Indian political system . Both the houses of Parliament seem to have become battlefield of dysfunctional and disgruntled leaders . There is no merit in putting EC or Congress in dock over the treatement meted out to Jaya Bachchan . However , it remains to be seen what action EC takes against other gulity MPs belonging to Left and Congress . It's not the implementation of law which hurts but its selective application is what really raises doubt over the motive of EC .Any attempt to cleanse the political system must not be the by-product of biased mindset .